10 mistakes that ruin a relationship
Finding a suitable partner for you and who you want to spend the rest of your life with is probably one of the biggest goals in everyone’s life. No wonder, deep connections with others are psychologically one of the most important elements in being truly happy.
But relationships are not always easy. Too often they fail because of little things that could be easily avoided. To ensure that your current or next relationship lasts a long time, in this article you will learn the 10 typical mistakes that doom relationships to failure and how you can avoid them.
1. Not giving time and attention to your partner
When you live side by side instead of living together, it is not uncommon for you to move away. Give your partner time and attention. Because couples who spend a lot of time together have been shown to have a deeper bond with each other. On the contrary, those who spend time almost exclusively alone and pay little attention to their partner, treating them more like a roommate, make them feel like they are not an important part of their life. Even small things like having dinner together can make a relationship better.
2. Get bogged down in the daily routine
Raising children, working, cleaning: there are a lot of things to deal with in everyday life. It’s easy to forget to take time for love. The two of you rarely do something right, adventures are a foreign word. It is not a good sign ! It’s important to go out without the kids from time to time. Let the grandparents take care of your children and go to your favorite restaurant or watch your favorite movie to rekindle your love.
3. Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem is one of the most common causes of mistrust in a relationship. You always compare yourself to others and believe that you are not good enough. You are also convinced that your partner cannot love you and is already looking for someone better. So the fear of being hurt and abandoned is constantly plaguing your mind. It is also a real test for the partner, because we are constantly suspicious of him and we do not believe in his love. Therefore, try to work on your low self-esteem. Only those who love themselves can love others and be loved by others.
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4. Don’t accept limits
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want with your partner. After all, a relationship is always about two people with different needs, and therefore limitations. For example, if you want to spend every free second with your partner, but they need a little time for them every now and then, you have to accept and respect them. Otherwise, it will limit your partner. Open and honest communication about your needs and limitations is therefore essential in any relationship.
5. Wanting to change your partner
When you are in a relationship, it is ideally because you have found the perfect partner. On the other hand, wanting to change it makes him feel like he’s not good enough. So, if something is fundamentally bothering you about your partner, you should seriously think about whether you can live with it or without it. Because wanting to change a person is not a good basis for a relationship. Take your partner as he is, or not at all. After all, you also want to be accepted as you are.
6. Take your partner for granted
If your partner cooks for you every night, you should understand what that means: it’s a gesture of love that he doesn’t have to make, but is happy to do for you. If you take your partner and everything they do for you for granted, you make them feel like they aren’t appreciated enough. This is a source of long term frustration! A small thank you, praise, or kind gesture in return can resolve this frustration and enrich the relationship.
7. Let go
It is quite normal that we do not prepare as much for everyday life as a couple as for the first or second date. However, under no circumstances should you let go, just because your partner now seems “acquired” to you! Lack of personal hygiene and sitting on the couch all day are unattractive to your loving partner. Taking care of yourself should be a priority and not a task that you pursue only to attract a potential partner.
8. Not communicating properly
Good communication is the alpha and omega of a relationship. Those who constantly blame will never come to an agreement. Impulsive reactions and protest behavior are also misplaced! It is important to listen to your partner correctly, to perceive their needs and desires and to act accordingly. You should also be clear about your own needs. If you expect your partner to understand what you’re up to without telling them and behaving aggressively, you won’t be happy in your relationship in the long run. Only those who actively listen and communicate effectively what they feel and what they need in their relationship will be able to find together a solution to all the problems.
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9. Flee from conflict
Arguments are the most common reason for breakups? Not at all ! Rather, the real problem lies in avoiding conflict and ignoring the causes of discord. Because that’s how frustration builds up little by little until, one fine day, your emotions make you explode. So, if something is bothering you, you should approach and clarify it immediately, but calmly and without animosity.
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10. Focus on the negative
In everyday life, it often happens that we lose sight of the beautiful things in the relationship and focus only on the negatives. Did he forget to vacuum the apartment? But he did the laundry! Try to notice the little things and be grateful, even if things don’t always turn out the way you would like them to.
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If you value your relationship with another person, you will do anything to maintain it. By remembering these 10 mistakes, you will be able to actively avoid them and maintain a healthy and lasting relationship.
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